///Anthem Blog///

I don't know why I left this.
Thoughts too scrambled, too tired to think.
I really need a cigarette.
two months left
i don't really care...

atleast not right now

-JLS 5/10/2005 11:55:00 PM

leave me the fuck alone, i hate you

-JLS 10/31/2004 10:44:00 PM

Yeah
So last week I was planning to use the weekend to catch up on my homework and stuff... Instead, I ended up buying an Xbox. So Saturday after I hung out with Dan for a while, I went home and played Fable for a few hours. Didn't do any homework, or cleaned my room.
Chilled with Juancho and Christian all afternoon yesterday, played some Halo with Long.. So that means I didn't do my homework again that night...
Then I woke up this morning realizing I hadn't done anything. So I skipped school.
THEN instead of doing homework, I played Fable all morning, PLUS I was late for work... Hahaa....
Video games rock :]

-JLS 9/20/2004 09:42:00 PM

WHAT NOW BIATCHES!! BWAHAHAHA
I BOUGHT AN XBOX!! HAHAHAHAH!

-JLS 9/18/2004 02:15:00 PM

Updates
My manager Steve at Mitsuwa laughs really loud. It like a bellow. And he laughs so loud, that you cant possibly NOT laugh, because you'd feel so forced to. its scary.
Other than that, he's really cool.
Then at Abercrombie, there are numerous managers, and i think they're all girls. Plus they're all hot, so it feels like I'm working with Amazons or something. I start on Sunday i think. or atleast get the orientation or whatever.
Elizabeth is cool, shes new at KB. she reminds me of how i was when i started working there. She never questions the manager, shes always on time, shes always putting in good effort, etc etc.. bwahaha thats gonna change in a few months :p.
If i werent gay, and if she was single, i'd go for her.
Anyway, having 3 jobs sucks. I think i wanted to blog about some other things, but I dont remember. so bye for now.

-JLS 9/02/2004 10:27:00 PM

LOL
I havent been blogging enough lately. So whats new? Not really new anymore, this stuff is like weeks old but...
1. my bird Annihilator died
2. me and dan saved a turtle
3. we sell defected cookies at KB Toys :)
4. LOL at KB toys, me and mark set up a tip jar, and we actualy got tips! HAHAHA! Then Agnes made us put it away :(.
LOL whod be stupid enough to give a tip at a toy store
ahh. good thing i got those off my chest :)

-JLS 9/01/2004 12:10:00 AM

COOOL!!!!
So I'm thinking.. Two jobs is fucking hard! Specially when I have school and all....
So the only way to solve this problem is to... GET A THIRD JOB!!!
Bwhahahahah! IM CRAZY!
LOL ok here's what happened!
Since I have two jobs, and school, its hard to find any free time to do errands or to go shopping... But I found about half an hour to go shoppping at woodfield before I went to Mitsuwa today.
I visited some stores real quick, like Gap, Banana Republic, and Express Men..
Then I went into Abercrombie and Fitch. This guy goes up to me, and asks me a few questions, and tells me that they're hiring.. Then the next thing I knew, I had a third job! Hahah!
First off, I didn't even ask for a job application. I never dreamt I'd work at Abercrombie and Fitch because I"m not hot enough :P. But this is totally pimped out. He asked me how old I was, so I told him I'm 17. I'm not old enough for Abercrombie and Fitch, but Abercrombie was hiring, which was just across. So I give the guy my name and number, he gives it to Abercrombie's store manager, and she calls me like 10 minutes later, asking if I can come in at 4 for an interview. Since I couldn't make it (I was supposed to be at Mitsuwa at 3), I came in right after, and we talked. She said I seemed like a nice guy, and I asked her "So whens my interview?". Then she said "This is the interview". Haha!! So I'm coming in Thursday for about a few hours to fill out paperwork, show them my SS and stuff, and I have the job. The cool thing is I still get discounts at Abercrombie and Fitch.
But, the problem is, I have work Thursday at KB ... LOL oh well. Abercrombie is way cooler than KB.
This is so fucking cool!! HAHAHAHHAHAH! I havent even worked at Mitsuwa for a month yet. Jon got me the application, then Jon filled out most of it, then Jon talked to the manager for me.... And i thought that job was easy to get...
All I had to do for this job at Abercrombie was walk in to shop, and I got the job! Hahaha oh man this is cool!
Btw, i just broke up with my bf, and iM single again. hit me up! Bwahhaha jp

-JLS 8/31/2004 09:32:00 PM

Random stuff
Mrs. Novak said to me "We're worried about you. We've been noticing your depressive qualities." Haha, wtf? Who's we? THe only people i can think of are Mr. Johansen, Mrs. Novak, Mrs. O Brien, and Mrs. Stellar. And i dont think most of them care anyway. What would they know?
I gave Mr. Taylor, my psychology teacher, my essay for the beginning of the year. I was in a bad mood, so I decided to talk about how I hated my childhood, and how life sucks :].
I think I might give Mrs. Tylka the same thing, or better yet, since I'm in a good mood, i'll write about really happy stuff.
I saw Ashley the other day, her hair is all black and curly now, like Christina Aguilera style. But she's hot and looks great on her. If I was straight, i'd go for her. Then I'd be rejected since she's older, taller, and cooler than me.
Umm not much else is new.
Life sucks right now. School + 2 jobs means no free time for me :(. Grrr. I want to cry.
I'll stab you.
Now to run off and do my homework.

-JLS 8/29/2004 09:04:00 PM

grr
im very good at listening to people when they try to make me feel like crap :p

-JLS 8/12/2004 01:25:00 AM

I hate this world
first off, go the fuck away if you're gonna read this and then say afterwards "omg what a loser, he needs to get a hold of himself" or something along those lines.
right now, i really dont give a shit wether or not i sound like a fucking lame ass pansy who can't take on life. because thats what i feel like right now.
i'm gonna bitch, and no one asked you to listen. this is open for anyone who gives a fuck enough to waste their time trying to figure out what the hell is wrong in my head.
the depression must be kicking in again. yeah, bs excuse.
mood swings... rite...
i know why im really upset right now. ill explain later, maybe in a few days.. maybe in a few weeks... maybe in a few months.
two more weeks until school.
im soon turning 17... god i hate it.
getting the suicidal thoughts in my head again. thought things would be hopeless.
what will i do when i grow up? i wanna get out of america, but i have nowhere to go.
im starting to believe again that i dont have any talents. that i dont have what it takes.
i know im right when i say i dont have the attitude, or mental stability, or confidence to be successful.
no ones gonna be holding my hand anymore.. just a few years left of being carried along....
i think itd be best if i shot myself. in the head. i dont think i can find a gun though.
yes someone will cheer me up in a few days, and then soon i will be blind again. i will think to myself "man i was so stupid to get that sad. life isnt that bad."
then what? i go back to the struggling for money, and the wasting of money. endless self-destructive cycle. just a form of wasting time.
i impact other peoples lives, as everyone impacts mine.
i keep feeling like i have no one to talk to.. i'm talking to people right now, but theres no one who i feel comfortable talking to about any of this. so let me spill it out to the world.
that way, if anyone reads it, its their fault, not mine. :p.
i need my weed. ive been going for like 2 or 3 weeks now without it.
a cigarette would be nice too.
maybe itd be best if one day someone reads everything i wrote from beginning to end. analyze. conclude. why is my head so messed up? genetics? environment? and everyone else who thinks they're depressed, read their minds too..
what i think it is... immaturity. a lack of discipline, and a lack of understanding. i still desire a lot, though i have a minor realization that my desires may be selfish, unrealistic, or impossible. yet i desire them. and this conflicts with my attitude. maybe i believe i can get whatever i want, atleast subconsciencly. well whatever the case, maybe some may say that i have not been shown enough love as a child.
so to all you fucking parents out there, dont be afraid to smother your fucking kid in love. it may bite you in the fucking ass one day if you dont.
god i want to hurt people. mainly myself.
grrrr siughidfgdghjksghljgm;hsdgh
i really could use some ganja right now.

-JLS 8/09/2004 10:36:00 PM